The last 2 weeks have been a bit overwhelming. Ever since Thanksgiving it seems like it has been one thing after another. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, you name it, I have been affected in that area.
Thanksgiving was OK. We went to the in-laws like we do every year. But this year there were no stragglers. You see every year, someone brings a friend or 2 or 8, and I always feel uncomfortable, and end up zoning out with a computer or a football game. But this year there was none of that, and it was a great time. Well except for the fact that my son needed to play by himself because his cousin was being a brat. Everything else was fantastic.
Day after Thanksgiving my wife had to work. She doesn't work in retail, but her boss's boss's boss (or something like that) decided that everyone in her position needed to be on the retail floor. Needless to say, she was not the happiest of campers since she had to drive 2 hours to get to the store and work the day there. So she took the boy and met my mom down there and stayed the next night with my parents as I stayed home and practiced for the Christmas production at church and fought the illness that was trying to creep in.
My sister comes up on Saturday to practice with the orchestra (including me), and we head down to my parents house for the afternoon where I pick up my family and head home late that night.
Sunday-Church
Monday-Counseling appointment then production practice
Tuesday-Production practice... The nursery worker that they had did not know how to change a diaper!!!!!!!!!! So we have to find a last minute sitter for the next week... ugh
Wednesday-Production practice
Thursday- Family time!!!
Friday- Production show #1-- My sister and a friend of the wife's are both staying at our house
Saturday-2 shows
Sunday- Church and another show
Monday- Show-Babysitter has a ton of homework so we take my son to the nursery, and it was a great success!!!!
Tuesday- Final show---Nursery Cant change a diaper again, and my 2 year old sees me at intermission and he has been crying for some time and he runs up to me and breaks my heart. He says, "Daddy, I'm poopy" Poor kid!!!
Wednesday- Tear down the set/ Meetings all day
Thursday- Attempt to clean the house/ More meetings/ Wife away from home for the night :(
Friday- Father-son time/ Christmas party
Saturday- Veg with the family/ Friends Birthday party
Sunday (today)- Church/ I had my first public speaking engagement since April. I spoke to a group called Compassionate Friends. They are a group of people that have lost their sons and daughters. I never want to be in their shoes... EVER! I spoke to them on the necessity for each other and the power of their testimony and I helped to lead worship and sing. Great night.
Plus in all of this busy-ness we were faced with the possibility of my wife getting laid off (which didn't happen) and me going back to work!!!! I will talk about that more I am sure as that gets closer to happening, but I have been busy with all that stuff for the last few weeks.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Inspiration
I have been watching these guys for a good part of the morning. I am amazed at the creativity and musuicianship. It inspires me to pick up my guitar and create.... It got me thinking. Who can I look at as a pastor or communicator or youth worker, and say that they inspire me to become better.... I will have to do some thinking. While I am doing that, enjoy!!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Confessional
Hi, my name is Jeremy and I am an addict....
I have a new obsession. One that isn't necessarily the most masculine of obsessions. In fact, my pantyhose bunches up a bit when I think about it.
I am addicted to Style network.
There! I said it! Go ahead and laugh! Make fun of me! Throw rocks!
I have watched Style and HGTV nearly all day today, and there have been college and pro basketball games on. I must have a disease of sorts. This can't be healthy. I am watching Clean House instead of Tim Duncan bringin down the house... Design on a Dime instead of Derrick Rose dishin dimes... It has me thinking about things like remodeling our closet, or painting the bedroom in a crazy color that is in fashion (for now). I am not well...
And to make matters worse, I am starting to have a better appreciation for fashion!!!!
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
My manhood is slowly being depleted right before my eyes!!!! I need an Intervention (A&E... my other addiction, which is another story entirely)
I have a new obsession. One that isn't necessarily the most masculine of obsessions. In fact, my pantyhose bunches up a bit when I think about it.
I am addicted to Style network.
There! I said it! Go ahead and laugh! Make fun of me! Throw rocks!
I have watched Style and HGTV nearly all day today, and there have been college and pro basketball games on. I must have a disease of sorts. This can't be healthy. I am watching Clean House instead of Tim Duncan bringin down the house... Design on a Dime instead of Derrick Rose dishin dimes... It has me thinking about things like remodeling our closet, or painting the bedroom in a crazy color that is in fashion (for now). I am not well...
And to make matters worse, I am starting to have a better appreciation for fashion!!!!
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
My manhood is slowly being depleted right before my eyes!!!! I need an Intervention (A&E... my other addiction, which is another story entirely)
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Token Thanksgiving Blog
I was gonna write something about what I am thankful for, since that is the thing to do this time of year, right? I could write about how I am thankful for Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies, or Portable outdoor toilet facilities. Or I could write about how I am thankful for family, friends, God, etc.
But this year is different. I am thankful for all of those things, but I have a much better appreciation for them, and a new perspective on life and what we truly do have to be thankful for.
I had a friend go to a 3rd world country this summer to smuggle in money and Bibles for the orphanage and Bible school there. He literally risked his life to help people that he didn't even know. He got there and realized how lucky we truly are to have the freedoms we have in America. These people risk their lives, and are basically in hiding because if they go outside and profess their faith, they could very well be killed. But these people told my friend that they feel bad for us!!!! Why? Because we are so apathetic here, that we can very easily slip away from our faith. We aren't challenged like they are in their faith. Wow.
But I sit back, and learn some lessons from them, and I am truly thankful for the opportunity to worship God openly and freely in a public setting.
This summer, I ran the risk of losing everything. My marriage, my son, my job, ministry, everything. I was faced with the reality of my poor decisions. So, I am thankful that I didn't lose a single one of those things, but I am more thankful that I have a better understanding of what those things really are. Although they are "mine," they are not. God has blessed me to the point of having an incredible wife, an incredible family, a great job with an incredible boss, an opportunity to lead His people, an opportunity be used by the Creator of the universe.
I am truly a blessed person. I have everything I need. I have never truly been without, but have come face to face with the possibility of it. And sometimes we need that. The saying goes, "we don't know what we got until its gone." Well, I am not sure that is entirely true. I know exactly what I got, and haven't lost a thing. I am truly thankful for everything God has chosen to bless me with, and do not take it for granted any more.
But mostly, I am thankful that I have a relationship with God. I am thankful that there is something bigger than my stuff or my troubles or my circumstances. If I didn't have that, there is no telling where I would be. I cant imagine economic crisis, family crisis, losing a job, losing a loved one, or any other hardship without having God in my life. I would feel hopeless and helpless. But I thank God that He has allowed us to have a hope in Him. God is bigger than governmental distress, bigger than economic crisis, and I don't have to have a faith in any of it. I have a faith in God that goes way beyond any thing in this world, and for that, I am truly thankful.
But this year is different. I am thankful for all of those things, but I have a much better appreciation for them, and a new perspective on life and what we truly do have to be thankful for.
I had a friend go to a 3rd world country this summer to smuggle in money and Bibles for the orphanage and Bible school there. He literally risked his life to help people that he didn't even know. He got there and realized how lucky we truly are to have the freedoms we have in America. These people risk their lives, and are basically in hiding because if they go outside and profess their faith, they could very well be killed. But these people told my friend that they feel bad for us!!!! Why? Because we are so apathetic here, that we can very easily slip away from our faith. We aren't challenged like they are in their faith. Wow.
But I sit back, and learn some lessons from them, and I am truly thankful for the opportunity to worship God openly and freely in a public setting.
This summer, I ran the risk of losing everything. My marriage, my son, my job, ministry, everything. I was faced with the reality of my poor decisions. So, I am thankful that I didn't lose a single one of those things, but I am more thankful that I have a better understanding of what those things really are. Although they are "mine," they are not. God has blessed me to the point of having an incredible wife, an incredible family, a great job with an incredible boss, an opportunity to lead His people, an opportunity be used by the Creator of the universe.
I am truly a blessed person. I have everything I need. I have never truly been without, but have come face to face with the possibility of it. And sometimes we need that. The saying goes, "we don't know what we got until its gone." Well, I am not sure that is entirely true. I know exactly what I got, and haven't lost a thing. I am truly thankful for everything God has chosen to bless me with, and do not take it for granted any more.
But mostly, I am thankful that I have a relationship with God. I am thankful that there is something bigger than my stuff or my troubles or my circumstances. If I didn't have that, there is no telling where I would be. I cant imagine economic crisis, family crisis, losing a job, losing a loved one, or any other hardship without having God in my life. I would feel hopeless and helpless. But I thank God that He has allowed us to have a hope in Him. God is bigger than governmental distress, bigger than economic crisis, and I don't have to have a faith in any of it. I have a faith in God that goes way beyond any thing in this world, and for that, I am truly thankful.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
80 words is some times all it takes
This was a revelation I had early on in my sabbatical....
3rd John...
One of the shortest books in the Bible. 15 verses to be exact. Could God possibly show me something in 15 measly verses? Well, it didn’t even take that long.
1:1 From the elder, to Gaius my dear brother, whom I love in truth. 1:2 Dear friend, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, just as it is well with your soul. 1:3 For I rejoiced greatly when the brothers came and testified to your truth, just as you are living according to the truth. 1:4 I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are living according to the truth
Verse 2 in the NAS says, “Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.”
Prosperity in my life is directly related to my spiritual health. Living according to the truth equals prosperity. It is no wonder I have been tiptoeing on the fine line of poverty, my soul has been floundering. I have been living according to other people’s revelations. I have been drawing from the knowledge of God that I have had in the past, and not upon my present relationship with Him. I was riding on the coattails of others prosperity, and wondering why it never came to me. Well, now I know. It was because my spiritual health sucked… BAD.
I know that if my health, finances, family, marriage, friendships, or ministry is going to prosper and flourish, it will be directly related to the prosperity of my spirit man. I haven’t been feeding him often. I haven’t been working on my relationship with my Father. I haven’t been allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to me. And my life reflects it.
...I can now say that my soul IS prospering, and my life reflects that, at least in part. My health has improved, my finances aren't nearly as worrisome, my relationships are much healthier, and ministry will never be the same again. And all of this because I have fed my spirit man. I was talking with my counselor, and he said its the white dog/black dog scenario. Whichever dog you feed will be the strongest. I am no longer starving the "good" dog. I am feeding the dog that gets me closer to God, and as a result, my life has been completely redefined
3rd John...
One of the shortest books in the Bible. 15 verses to be exact. Could God possibly show me something in 15 measly verses? Well, it didn’t even take that long.
1:1 From the elder, to Gaius my dear brother, whom I love in truth. 1:2 Dear friend, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, just as it is well with your soul. 1:3 For I rejoiced greatly when the brothers came and testified to your truth, just as you are living according to the truth. 1:4 I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are living according to the truth
Verse 2 in the NAS says, “Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.”
Prosperity in my life is directly related to my spiritual health. Living according to the truth equals prosperity. It is no wonder I have been tiptoeing on the fine line of poverty, my soul has been floundering. I have been living according to other people’s revelations. I have been drawing from the knowledge of God that I have had in the past, and not upon my present relationship with Him. I was riding on the coattails of others prosperity, and wondering why it never came to me. Well, now I know. It was because my spiritual health sucked… BAD.
I know that if my health, finances, family, marriage, friendships, or ministry is going to prosper and flourish, it will be directly related to the prosperity of my spirit man. I haven’t been feeding him often. I haven’t been working on my relationship with my Father. I haven’t been allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to me. And my life reflects it.
...I can now say that my soul IS prospering, and my life reflects that, at least in part. My health has improved, my finances aren't nearly as worrisome, my relationships are much healthier, and ministry will never be the same again. And all of this because I have fed my spirit man. I was talking with my counselor, and he said its the white dog/black dog scenario. Whichever dog you feed will be the strongest. I am no longer starving the "good" dog. I am feeding the dog that gets me closer to God, and as a result, my life has been completely redefined
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Arrrrggghhhhhh!!!!
My computer somehow got the Vundo Trojan virus among other things. I spent the last 6 hours trying to research and repair it. But it is finally done and I can rest tonight and wake up in a much better mood than I was in about 6 oclock this evening.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Butterflies
Last night my pastor had a board meeting to discuss, among other things, the timetable for me returning to work :) When I went on sabbatical in April, the idea was that I would go to counseling, meet with my pastor at least a few times a month, and we would evaluate where I was at every 2 months. So, this is the first time I actually feel like I might be "ready" (whatever that means) to go back. I think I now have a better understanding of who I am in Christ, and what it takes to be a follower of Him, a husband, father, and minister.
But, I must say I am a bit nervous. There is a part of me that really wants to get back to work. I have really cherished my time off, the extra time I have been able to serve my family and spend more time with them, and the uninterrupted time with God. My focus has become much clearer, and I can only attribute that to having the extra time to dedicate to recapture that focus. But there is a part of me that has been itching to get back to preaching. I am not foolish enough to want my will to be exalted above God's will for my life, so if there is more healing I need or more time to dedicate to focusing in on God, then I am all for it. But that doesn't change my desire.
I am also nervous in that the youth group, and ministry in general will not be how I left it, or better yet how I would do it. That is a good thing. The youth leaders have done a tremendous job in my absence, and I look forward to be back, if nothing else than to be around them (and the youth) once again. But I have no idea how to do ministry anymore. God has rearranged my priorities and shifted so many things around in my personal life, that ministry will have to change. And that makes me a bit nervous.
I am nervous to stand in front of people and be vulnerable. I am nervous to build relationships. I am nervous to counsel. I am nervous to lead worship. I am nervous, but I am excited to no end because I can allow God to lead me instead of me leading everything.
So, on Tuesday, I find out my fate, so to speak. I meet with my pastor to see the verdict on if and when I will come back to work. I am nervous about that too... and that is a new feeling before. I have stood in front of thousands of people, spoke and led worship in front of hundreds, and never felt this way before. It reminds me that I am not in control, and I like that
But, I must say I am a bit nervous. There is a part of me that really wants to get back to work. I have really cherished my time off, the extra time I have been able to serve my family and spend more time with them, and the uninterrupted time with God. My focus has become much clearer, and I can only attribute that to having the extra time to dedicate to recapture that focus. But there is a part of me that has been itching to get back to preaching. I am not foolish enough to want my will to be exalted above God's will for my life, so if there is more healing I need or more time to dedicate to focusing in on God, then I am all for it. But that doesn't change my desire.
I am also nervous in that the youth group, and ministry in general will not be how I left it, or better yet how I would do it. That is a good thing. The youth leaders have done a tremendous job in my absence, and I look forward to be back, if nothing else than to be around them (and the youth) once again. But I have no idea how to do ministry anymore. God has rearranged my priorities and shifted so many things around in my personal life, that ministry will have to change. And that makes me a bit nervous.
I am nervous to stand in front of people and be vulnerable. I am nervous to build relationships. I am nervous to counsel. I am nervous to lead worship. I am nervous, but I am excited to no end because I can allow God to lead me instead of me leading everything.
So, on Tuesday, I find out my fate, so to speak. I meet with my pastor to see the verdict on if and when I will come back to work. I am nervous about that too... and that is a new feeling before. I have stood in front of thousands of people, spoke and led worship in front of hundreds, and never felt this way before. It reminds me that I am not in control, and I like that
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