Hi, my name is Jeremy and I am an addict....
I have a new obsession. One that isn't necessarily the most masculine of obsessions. In fact, my pantyhose bunches up a bit when I think about it.
I am addicted to Style network.
There! I said it! Go ahead and laugh! Make fun of me! Throw rocks!
I have watched Style and HGTV nearly all day today, and there have been college and pro basketball games on. I must have a disease of sorts. This can't be healthy. I am watching Clean House instead of Tim Duncan bringin down the house... Design on a Dime instead of Derrick Rose dishin dimes... It has me thinking about things like remodeling our closet, or painting the bedroom in a crazy color that is in fashion (for now). I am not well...
And to make matters worse, I am starting to have a better appreciation for fashion!!!!
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
My manhood is slowly being depleted right before my eyes!!!! I need an Intervention (A&E... my other addiction, which is another story entirely)
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Token Thanksgiving Blog
I was gonna write something about what I am thankful for, since that is the thing to do this time of year, right? I could write about how I am thankful for Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies, or Portable outdoor toilet facilities. Or I could write about how I am thankful for family, friends, God, etc.
But this year is different. I am thankful for all of those things, but I have a much better appreciation for them, and a new perspective on life and what we truly do have to be thankful for.
I had a friend go to a 3rd world country this summer to smuggle in money and Bibles for the orphanage and Bible school there. He literally risked his life to help people that he didn't even know. He got there and realized how lucky we truly are to have the freedoms we have in America. These people risk their lives, and are basically in hiding because if they go outside and profess their faith, they could very well be killed. But these people told my friend that they feel bad for us!!!! Why? Because we are so apathetic here, that we can very easily slip away from our faith. We aren't challenged like they are in their faith. Wow.
But I sit back, and learn some lessons from them, and I am truly thankful for the opportunity to worship God openly and freely in a public setting.
This summer, I ran the risk of losing everything. My marriage, my son, my job, ministry, everything. I was faced with the reality of my poor decisions. So, I am thankful that I didn't lose a single one of those things, but I am more thankful that I have a better understanding of what those things really are. Although they are "mine," they are not. God has blessed me to the point of having an incredible wife, an incredible family, a great job with an incredible boss, an opportunity to lead His people, an opportunity be used by the Creator of the universe.
I am truly a blessed person. I have everything I need. I have never truly been without, but have come face to face with the possibility of it. And sometimes we need that. The saying goes, "we don't know what we got until its gone." Well, I am not sure that is entirely true. I know exactly what I got, and haven't lost a thing. I am truly thankful for everything God has chosen to bless me with, and do not take it for granted any more.
But mostly, I am thankful that I have a relationship with God. I am thankful that there is something bigger than my stuff or my troubles or my circumstances. If I didn't have that, there is no telling where I would be. I cant imagine economic crisis, family crisis, losing a job, losing a loved one, or any other hardship without having God in my life. I would feel hopeless and helpless. But I thank God that He has allowed us to have a hope in Him. God is bigger than governmental distress, bigger than economic crisis, and I don't have to have a faith in any of it. I have a faith in God that goes way beyond any thing in this world, and for that, I am truly thankful.
But this year is different. I am thankful for all of those things, but I have a much better appreciation for them, and a new perspective on life and what we truly do have to be thankful for.
I had a friend go to a 3rd world country this summer to smuggle in money and Bibles for the orphanage and Bible school there. He literally risked his life to help people that he didn't even know. He got there and realized how lucky we truly are to have the freedoms we have in America. These people risk their lives, and are basically in hiding because if they go outside and profess their faith, they could very well be killed. But these people told my friend that they feel bad for us!!!! Why? Because we are so apathetic here, that we can very easily slip away from our faith. We aren't challenged like they are in their faith. Wow.
But I sit back, and learn some lessons from them, and I am truly thankful for the opportunity to worship God openly and freely in a public setting.
This summer, I ran the risk of losing everything. My marriage, my son, my job, ministry, everything. I was faced with the reality of my poor decisions. So, I am thankful that I didn't lose a single one of those things, but I am more thankful that I have a better understanding of what those things really are. Although they are "mine," they are not. God has blessed me to the point of having an incredible wife, an incredible family, a great job with an incredible boss, an opportunity to lead His people, an opportunity be used by the Creator of the universe.
I am truly a blessed person. I have everything I need. I have never truly been without, but have come face to face with the possibility of it. And sometimes we need that. The saying goes, "we don't know what we got until its gone." Well, I am not sure that is entirely true. I know exactly what I got, and haven't lost a thing. I am truly thankful for everything God has chosen to bless me with, and do not take it for granted any more.
But mostly, I am thankful that I have a relationship with God. I am thankful that there is something bigger than my stuff or my troubles or my circumstances. If I didn't have that, there is no telling where I would be. I cant imagine economic crisis, family crisis, losing a job, losing a loved one, or any other hardship without having God in my life. I would feel hopeless and helpless. But I thank God that He has allowed us to have a hope in Him. God is bigger than governmental distress, bigger than economic crisis, and I don't have to have a faith in any of it. I have a faith in God that goes way beyond any thing in this world, and for that, I am truly thankful.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
80 words is some times all it takes
This was a revelation I had early on in my sabbatical....
3rd John...
One of the shortest books in the Bible. 15 verses to be exact. Could God possibly show me something in 15 measly verses? Well, it didn’t even take that long.
1:1 From the elder, to Gaius my dear brother, whom I love in truth. 1:2 Dear friend, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, just as it is well with your soul. 1:3 For I rejoiced greatly when the brothers came and testified to your truth, just as you are living according to the truth. 1:4 I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are living according to the truth
Verse 2 in the NAS says, “Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.”
Prosperity in my life is directly related to my spiritual health. Living according to the truth equals prosperity. It is no wonder I have been tiptoeing on the fine line of poverty, my soul has been floundering. I have been living according to other people’s revelations. I have been drawing from the knowledge of God that I have had in the past, and not upon my present relationship with Him. I was riding on the coattails of others prosperity, and wondering why it never came to me. Well, now I know. It was because my spiritual health sucked… BAD.
I know that if my health, finances, family, marriage, friendships, or ministry is going to prosper and flourish, it will be directly related to the prosperity of my spirit man. I haven’t been feeding him often. I haven’t been working on my relationship with my Father. I haven’t been allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to me. And my life reflects it.
...I can now say that my soul IS prospering, and my life reflects that, at least in part. My health has improved, my finances aren't nearly as worrisome, my relationships are much healthier, and ministry will never be the same again. And all of this because I have fed my spirit man. I was talking with my counselor, and he said its the white dog/black dog scenario. Whichever dog you feed will be the strongest. I am no longer starving the "good" dog. I am feeding the dog that gets me closer to God, and as a result, my life has been completely redefined
3rd John...
One of the shortest books in the Bible. 15 verses to be exact. Could God possibly show me something in 15 measly verses? Well, it didn’t even take that long.
1:1 From the elder, to Gaius my dear brother, whom I love in truth. 1:2 Dear friend, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, just as it is well with your soul. 1:3 For I rejoiced greatly when the brothers came and testified to your truth, just as you are living according to the truth. 1:4 I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are living according to the truth
Verse 2 in the NAS says, “Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.”
Prosperity in my life is directly related to my spiritual health. Living according to the truth equals prosperity. It is no wonder I have been tiptoeing on the fine line of poverty, my soul has been floundering. I have been living according to other people’s revelations. I have been drawing from the knowledge of God that I have had in the past, and not upon my present relationship with Him. I was riding on the coattails of others prosperity, and wondering why it never came to me. Well, now I know. It was because my spiritual health sucked… BAD.
I know that if my health, finances, family, marriage, friendships, or ministry is going to prosper and flourish, it will be directly related to the prosperity of my spirit man. I haven’t been feeding him often. I haven’t been working on my relationship with my Father. I haven’t been allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to me. And my life reflects it.
...I can now say that my soul IS prospering, and my life reflects that, at least in part. My health has improved, my finances aren't nearly as worrisome, my relationships are much healthier, and ministry will never be the same again. And all of this because I have fed my spirit man. I was talking with my counselor, and he said its the white dog/black dog scenario. Whichever dog you feed will be the strongest. I am no longer starving the "good" dog. I am feeding the dog that gets me closer to God, and as a result, my life has been completely redefined
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Arrrrggghhhhhh!!!!
My computer somehow got the Vundo Trojan virus among other things. I spent the last 6 hours trying to research and repair it. But it is finally done and I can rest tonight and wake up in a much better mood than I was in about 6 oclock this evening.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Butterflies
Last night my pastor had a board meeting to discuss, among other things, the timetable for me returning to work :) When I went on sabbatical in April, the idea was that I would go to counseling, meet with my pastor at least a few times a month, and we would evaluate where I was at every 2 months. So, this is the first time I actually feel like I might be "ready" (whatever that means) to go back. I think I now have a better understanding of who I am in Christ, and what it takes to be a follower of Him, a husband, father, and minister.
But, I must say I am a bit nervous. There is a part of me that really wants to get back to work. I have really cherished my time off, the extra time I have been able to serve my family and spend more time with them, and the uninterrupted time with God. My focus has become much clearer, and I can only attribute that to having the extra time to dedicate to recapture that focus. But there is a part of me that has been itching to get back to preaching. I am not foolish enough to want my will to be exalted above God's will for my life, so if there is more healing I need or more time to dedicate to focusing in on God, then I am all for it. But that doesn't change my desire.
I am also nervous in that the youth group, and ministry in general will not be how I left it, or better yet how I would do it. That is a good thing. The youth leaders have done a tremendous job in my absence, and I look forward to be back, if nothing else than to be around them (and the youth) once again. But I have no idea how to do ministry anymore. God has rearranged my priorities and shifted so many things around in my personal life, that ministry will have to change. And that makes me a bit nervous.
I am nervous to stand in front of people and be vulnerable. I am nervous to build relationships. I am nervous to counsel. I am nervous to lead worship. I am nervous, but I am excited to no end because I can allow God to lead me instead of me leading everything.
So, on Tuesday, I find out my fate, so to speak. I meet with my pastor to see the verdict on if and when I will come back to work. I am nervous about that too... and that is a new feeling before. I have stood in front of thousands of people, spoke and led worship in front of hundreds, and never felt this way before. It reminds me that I am not in control, and I like that
But, I must say I am a bit nervous. There is a part of me that really wants to get back to work. I have really cherished my time off, the extra time I have been able to serve my family and spend more time with them, and the uninterrupted time with God. My focus has become much clearer, and I can only attribute that to having the extra time to dedicate to recapture that focus. But there is a part of me that has been itching to get back to preaching. I am not foolish enough to want my will to be exalted above God's will for my life, so if there is more healing I need or more time to dedicate to focusing in on God, then I am all for it. But that doesn't change my desire.
I am also nervous in that the youth group, and ministry in general will not be how I left it, or better yet how I would do it. That is a good thing. The youth leaders have done a tremendous job in my absence, and I look forward to be back, if nothing else than to be around them (and the youth) once again. But I have no idea how to do ministry anymore. God has rearranged my priorities and shifted so many things around in my personal life, that ministry will have to change. And that makes me a bit nervous.
I am nervous to stand in front of people and be vulnerable. I am nervous to build relationships. I am nervous to counsel. I am nervous to lead worship. I am nervous, but I am excited to no end because I can allow God to lead me instead of me leading everything.
So, on Tuesday, I find out my fate, so to speak. I meet with my pastor to see the verdict on if and when I will come back to work. I am nervous about that too... and that is a new feeling before. I have stood in front of thousands of people, spoke and led worship in front of hundreds, and never felt this way before. It reminds me that I am not in control, and I like that
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Retirement
A lot of people look forward to retirement. Me, not so much. I want to preach until I cant speak anymore. But today is a sad day, in that I believe it is finally time to retire my Bible. This thing has been with me since my sophomore year in college. It has been there through my engagement and wedding, my times of feeling alienated, my alienating of both it and the church, my addictions, my call back into ministry, and my first few years as a pastor. Now this isn't the only Bible that has seen those events, but it has been the one that I liked the most out of all of them. So much so, in fact, that I even tried to preserve it by duct taping it back together!! But it is now beyond what the reach of even duct tape, baling wire, or JB Weld can even fix. Time to break in a new one now.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
2 Year Shelf Life
I spent a few hours today helping a good friend of mine out at the property where he is building his new home... so many illustrations there, but that's not what this is about. I was the "hose guy" or as the McKenzie brothers would say, the "hoser." My job was to flood the dirt. I was going there expecting to be the one moving the dirt, so I was pleasantly surprised.
But I enjoyed spending the time with my friend. He resigned his position as youth pastor at his church on Saturday. I don't know the story in its entirety, nor do I want to, but I guess the entire staff (6 people, I think) resigned and left the senior pastor to operate the church alone. I do not blame him for doing this, as it is most likely the best scenario, but my friend needs healing. The rest of the staff needs healing. The senior pastor needs healing. The entire church body needs healing.
So as I reflect on this situation, a few things come to mind. Like why is there such a turnover with youth pastors? I read somewhere that the life expectancy of a youth pastor is 2 years. 2years!!!!! I am over the hill!!!!! At 2 1/2 years, I am the longest tenured youth pastor in our region. We have had 1 guy take over the senior pastors job after 12+ years. That I get, kinda. One resigns because of internal church issues. I get that. One moves into a college pastor role and made room for a "home grown" guy to take over. I suppose I can get that, since that is how I got to where I am. One left his denomination to go to another. One left to plant a church. One wasn't paid, so he split. A number of churches cant afford youth pastors so the youth leaders in charge get burnt out and give up.
So youth pastors are either stopping by on their way to somewhere else, or they are being mistreated.
I have seen youth ministry as the "default ministry" in many churches. Someone feels called to ministry, and that is evident, but we don't have a place for them other than the youth. Or, the church cant afford a full-time youth pastor, so they get a guy that is the worship leader/youth pastor/nursery coordinator/janitor/bagel boy, and they find out that they like being the bagel boy the best and work at that more than anything else, and eventually become Bagel Boy Extraordinaire and leave the church trying to find a new youth pastor.
So, the church suffers, the youth pastor suffers, but ultimately, the youth suffer. Teenagers are longing for some sort of stability in their lives. A lot of them aren't getting it at home, or with their friends or their boy/girlfriends. So, the person they look up to as the Christian leader in their lives (a lot of times) is only around for half their high school years at best? How is that stable?
The job of a youth pastor should be to bring at least a spiritual stability to these young people, and we are failing. What can be done to help alleviate this issue? Are youth pastors giving up too easily? Are churches burying the youth pastors? Can things change?
But I enjoyed spending the time with my friend. He resigned his position as youth pastor at his church on Saturday. I don't know the story in its entirety, nor do I want to, but I guess the entire staff (6 people, I think) resigned and left the senior pastor to operate the church alone. I do not blame him for doing this, as it is most likely the best scenario, but my friend needs healing. The rest of the staff needs healing. The senior pastor needs healing. The entire church body needs healing.
So as I reflect on this situation, a few things come to mind. Like why is there such a turnover with youth pastors? I read somewhere that the life expectancy of a youth pastor is 2 years. 2years!!!!! I am over the hill!!!!! At 2 1/2 years, I am the longest tenured youth pastor in our region. We have had 1 guy take over the senior pastors job after 12+ years. That I get, kinda. One resigns because of internal church issues. I get that. One moves into a college pastor role and made room for a "home grown" guy to take over. I suppose I can get that, since that is how I got to where I am. One left his denomination to go to another. One left to plant a church. One wasn't paid, so he split. A number of churches cant afford youth pastors so the youth leaders in charge get burnt out and give up.
So youth pastors are either stopping by on their way to somewhere else, or they are being mistreated.
I have seen youth ministry as the "default ministry" in many churches. Someone feels called to ministry, and that is evident, but we don't have a place for them other than the youth. Or, the church cant afford a full-time youth pastor, so they get a guy that is the worship leader/youth pastor/nursery coordinator/janitor/bagel boy, and they find out that they like being the bagel boy the best and work at that more than anything else, and eventually become Bagel Boy Extraordinaire and leave the church trying to find a new youth pastor.
So, the church suffers, the youth pastor suffers, but ultimately, the youth suffer. Teenagers are longing for some sort of stability in their lives. A lot of them aren't getting it at home, or with their friends or their boy/girlfriends. So, the person they look up to as the Christian leader in their lives (a lot of times) is only around for half their high school years at best? How is that stable?
The job of a youth pastor should be to bring at least a spiritual stability to these young people, and we are failing. What can be done to help alleviate this issue? Are youth pastors giving up too easily? Are churches burying the youth pastors? Can things change?
U of A blows it...
So I just finished watching the Arizona Wildcats make a tremendous comeback on UAB, only to have 2 of THE WORST fouls I have ever seen committed. You are tied with less than 20 seconds, and you foul intentionally?!?!?!?!? OK, freshman mistake, I get it. But with 1 second left, and a tie game..... WHY?? That was AWFUL!!!! I must say, though, that AZ as a whole does not have a very high basketball IQ. Russ Pennell is a great guy, and I wish him the best, but he has a long road ahead of him if decisions like this continue to be made.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
"You can take the girl out of the trailerpark, but you cant take the trailerpark out of the girl"
That quote has been tossed around a lot, especially in the media in regards to a certain pop star diva-turned mom-turned divorcee-turned property of the state-turned pop "star" again. I sorta feel the same way. Not that I am a pop star diva or divorced or a mother, or even from a trailer park, but I am displaced a bit, with ties to where I have been displaced from.
It is possible that I will get into my reasons for displacement at some point in the future on this blog, but now is not the time for that. The fact is that I am displaced, but not for much longer.
I am a youth pastor, and have been full time for 2 1/2 years. I have been in youth ministry for the better part of 12 years though.... and now I am on a sabbatical. If you are unfamiliar with sabbaticals, it is just an easy way to say administrative leave. I took that leave on April 16th, 2008, and I am still on that leave as of today.
So, you can take the pastor out of the ministry, but you cant take the ministry out of the pastor.
I have been learning a lot since April. A lot about myself, my family, my relationship with God, and my relationship with others. God has revealed things to me in the last 7 months that go way beyond my intellect, and deal with my heart. My sabbatical was desperately needed. Not solely because of the things I was dealing with, but also so God could get me to a place of solitude to deal with my heart. This has been THE defining year for me, and the relationships in my life.
I have all of these things that God has revealed to me and implanted into me, yet I have no outlet to share. So being a preacher/speaker, I had to find a way to share some of these things so that I didnt explode. For the most part, that is what will be contained in this blog. I may rant or rave or tell jokes or brag about my wife and son as well, but know that all I have is from Christ alone, and when I brag about these things, I brag about the One who gave them to me as well.
It is possible that I will get into my reasons for displacement at some point in the future on this blog, but now is not the time for that. The fact is that I am displaced, but not for much longer.
I am a youth pastor, and have been full time for 2 1/2 years. I have been in youth ministry for the better part of 12 years though.... and now I am on a sabbatical. If you are unfamiliar with sabbaticals, it is just an easy way to say administrative leave. I took that leave on April 16th, 2008, and I am still on that leave as of today.
So, you can take the pastor out of the ministry, but you cant take the ministry out of the pastor.
I have been learning a lot since April. A lot about myself, my family, my relationship with God, and my relationship with others. God has revealed things to me in the last 7 months that go way beyond my intellect, and deal with my heart. My sabbatical was desperately needed. Not solely because of the things I was dealing with, but also so God could get me to a place of solitude to deal with my heart. This has been THE defining year for me, and the relationships in my life.
I have all of these things that God has revealed to me and implanted into me, yet I have no outlet to share. So being a preacher/speaker, I had to find a way to share some of these things so that I didnt explode. For the most part, that is what will be contained in this blog. I may rant or rave or tell jokes or brag about my wife and son as well, but know that all I have is from Christ alone, and when I brag about these things, I brag about the One who gave them to me as well.
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